Renovating the Blog

If you're a TFU follower, you'll have noticed that I've not been a very active blogger lately. Well, for quite a long time really; 'lately' stretches the definition a bit when I haven't actaully posted anything since last April.

All I can do is apologise and explain, so here goes: I'm sorry I've not blogged more regularly and often. There - that's half of it out of the way.

And I can only blame myself, along with the council, tradespeople, architectural plans, rubbish skips, hammers, nails, drills, saws, and cans of paint. Oh, and ambition - that's a prime offender. It all boils down to the house renovation, and it seems we might have bitten off more than we can chew. Or, to invent a new and more appropriate cliché: sawn off a bit more than we meant to.

Here's a speed-dating summary: Bought a rundown house because we liked the location, had plans drawn up for a modest grand design, got council planning permission and set to, aiming to save as much as possible by doing a lot of the work ourselves. Two years later still haven't finished, and my social (and social media) life has gone down the toilet. Which reminds me: must phone plumber.

So ambition is as much to blame as anything, yet to be fair we have come a long way on the project, even though from the outside there's not much to see. It's a bit like when the Queen Mother had a double hip operation in 1995 - when she emerged from the hospital she looked just the same as she had before, except that she had two new hips. (Was I the only one who wanted to be in the crowd shouting, 'Three cheers for the Queen Mother: Hip Hip..?)

So externally there's not much to see, but inside the house has been rewired, replumbed, damp-proofed, insulated, and reconfigured. It also has two new bathrooms and a new kitchen, an office, an atrium (yes really, with spiral staircase) and a gorgeous master bedroom with mirrors on the ceiling and a trapeze for enhanced sexual shenanigans. Part of that may not be true.

Geography has also played a part. When I started the TFU we lived in a London borough, but 18 months ago moved into the new house ('project' is a better word) just outside Greater London, so my initial idea of writing a regular and very London-centric blog went out the window. (Which reminds me: must call glazier)

Therefore I have now, just this minute, taken a pneumatic drill to the blog and reconfigured it as a general, all-purpose, go anywhere, say anything organ, in the hope that I can now write about whatever I like and not be tied specifically to the capital city, much though I adore it. Thing is, it's a 43-minute train ride into town and I don't get much time to go in as often as I'd like. Also, the train service (I use the term loosely) is operated by South Western Railways - or South Western Rile, as I like to call them - so what is notionally a 43-min journey can take 4.3 hours. Or not at all if it's on one of the many strike days (which somehow seem to stick to the union's timetable much better than the actual trains).

So while I had grand plans of taking a folding chair into London on a regular basis, iPad in hand, sitting and observing and writing about the teeming life there, I just don't get out as much as I used to (see drills, hammers, paint, etc. above). That, however, hasn't stopped me thinking, getting annoyed, finding joy in things, questioning the sanity of our nation's leaders, and obliquely finding humour in everything that's going on.

Which means I'm back, and - with encouragement from my wife to 'put the paint brush down, step away from the paint brush' - I am determined to renovate the blog. After all, over the past few months it's become a bit run down, leaks a bit, and smells of damp. It's in need of some attention.

Which reminds me: must call builder.