Bare-Faced Cheek

Image: Wikimeida Commons

Spring is here, which means summer’s not far behind, which means I can look forward to long hot summer days and getting my kit off to lie starkers in the garden.

Or not; I’m not sure the neighbourhood is ready to cock an eye at me like that yet, or even the other way round. Neighbours, you can relax. I shall remain what is prudishly called ‘decent’. Unless you’re a naturist of course, in which case going naked is still seen as ‘decent’, which upsets some people.

The people I refer to are those who prefer to keep their clothes on, or at least their naughty bits covered up at all times, even in the remotest of locations and on the hottest of days. They seem to take offence at the overall concept of nudism, especially when it’s part of a public display, such as a recent planned mid-winter indoor swim at a Blackpool water venue.

To reveal all, (or rather, to be fair) it wasn’t a public display inasmuch as it was a strictly-controlled private event; the protesters’ concerns were that it involved family nudism, that children would be involved and that ‘non-members’ (oh stop it!) would be allowed to join in. A protest organiser was reported as saying it was, 'a massive safeguarding issue', with ‘…children being naked around adults neither their parents or themselves know' ‘

The event was organised by British Naturism – a 50-plus year-old organisation, so with a few expected wrinkles – which defended the event as being one they’d run successfully for over 10 years. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, ‘…if there were any problems associated with it then it would have been discontinued years ago.’

He added encouragingly that British Naturism had developed a ‘robust child and vulnerable adults safeguarding policy’, developed in conjunction with the NSPCC and reviewed annually. (So robust children would presumably be okay then)

Image: Wikimeida Commons

Anyway that’s the background, and the event gained some column inches in the media as a result. What worried me more than that was the revelation that in the nudiverse, those who wear clothes are referred to as ‘textiles’, which the British Naturism spokesperson admitted he wasn’t particularly happy with and emphasised that it tended to be used in situations of conflict rather than as a general term of reference.

Perhaps more disturbing was the revelation that British Naturism wants anti-naturist abuse classed as a ‘hate crime’.

The spokesperson went on to say, “These days, we all agree that shouting abuse at somebody because of the colour of their skin, their sexual preference or their religion is not acceptable… yet naturists still receive that type of abuse based on their dress code.”

Seriously? Undress code surely. But actual abuse? Well, maybe. It brings up the old chestnut of offence being taken when it’s not deliberately given (Ref. Gammon v Snowflake et al). Naturists enjoy the opportunity to shed their clothing and enjoy the outdoors and sunshine (or in the case of the recent event an indoor private venue) ostensibly for health purposes and the social equality that going sans clothes enables. Nobody can judge you by your attire if you’re not wearing any.

And I’m sure that 99.9% of naturists do not deliberately aim to cause offence. That the offence is taken by those who are onlookers, or who philosophically disagree with the practice is simply collateral damage. This is especially true where nudity is not seen in law as a criminal offence.

Also, there is almost certainly suspicion on the part of certain textiles that taking your kit off en groupe is likely to be for sexual purposes, whereas I imagine that while those who strip off – for example for a mid-winter nude plunge – are more likely to be stark raving bonkers rather than people who are bonk-raving and starkers.

Offended? Look the other way...

I personally relish an opportunity to swim naked, though the mercury has to be in the mid- to high-20s and the sea warmer than that; the feel of warm water that has ‘access all areas’ is a true joy. Likewise, nude sunbathing – it’s a special feeling to have the sun caressing you and a warm gentle breeze to tickle your fancy. But I don’t do either of these in order to give offence; if you’re offended, look the other way.

I guess it’s fair enough that the protesters against this event apparently had the safeguarding and best interests of children at heart, but maybe they should just let the organisation involved get on with their own self-regulation and self-policing and take their naked aggression elsewhere.